Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Starting at 9pm yesterday, My best friend and i had a race for the first person to fuck in a toilet from that point onwards. This is my story of trying to win that race.

So it began at Alhambra on the dancefloor. There were hotties everywhere, i knew i would win the race, im confident in the fact that i can find sluts. First girl i see on the d-floor is looking at me cheekily so i grab her and tell her shes fucking hot. She starts dancing against me, im seeing all the signs so i pull her hair back and try to kiss her - "i have a boyfriend". "he doesnt have to know" she doesnt like this so i tell her to go away, im looking for sluts.

She took this as a challenge so kept grinding against me so i start grabbing her tits and rubbing her through her panties and say into her ear "lets go fuck in the toilets" she shakes her head so i again push her away and go to the bar. that was attempt 1 failed.

Let me digress for a moment. So im sure you all know im out in clubs a lot. There is one girl that i see every fucking time im out, my perfect girl. Tiny, small tits, long brown hair and bright red lipstick. my balls quiver every time i see her but ive been putting off trying to pick her up until i know im the man. Right now, i know im the man. I see her and go try pick her up, im hugging her, getting lots of signs but i dont try to kiss her. she says "i really have to go to the bathroom, but can i give you my number?" MY FUCKING DREAM GIRL and she asks to give ME her number. i of course get it and am so fucking happy. weeks of watching her beauty from afar have finally paid off. Anyway lets continue.

A girl walks past me "AWRITE LUV" she turns and looks weird at me "come on, give me a fucking smile i know you have a cute one in there somewhere" I dont get her name but within a minute im kissing her on the d-floor and because i wanted to win the race im escalating so fucking fast so i start grabbing her tits, rubbing her through her panties. she starts biting my lip and grabbing my dick. "i want to fuck you right now, lets go to the toilets". "im not that kind of girl" - so i tell her fine, i will go find a slut who wants to fuck me then and leave her. Attempt 2 Failed.

Girl 1 comes back and starts grabbing my dick after seeing me with girl 2 and i tell her if shes not prepared to fuck me in the toilets right now, dont bother. im not interested. she keeps grabbing my dick so i just play with her tits, i like tits. I then see another girl looking at me as shes walking past me as im grabbing this girls tits so i high five her and pull her in close. 

I tell her that shes fucking cute, but im not looking for cute im looking for sluts tonight. "I could out slut you anyday of the week" - Challenge accepted. i start kissing her, grabbing tits, wrapping her legs around me on the d-floor and i stop sucking face for a moment and see my perfect girl, the one ive wanted to weeks. just standing there looking at me in disgust. I stop kissing my girl and try to talk to Perfection, but she walks away. im heart broken. my ego just got in the way of a girl that i have lusted after for weeks and have been so nervous about talking too. now i had ruined it. "FUUUUUCK" i scream. then tell my friend what happened and he just laughs at me and says "poetic justice". 

I go back to the slut i was with, tell her that she has no chance of out slutting me "try me" she says. so i said "fine, lets go fuck in the toilet". "Lets". I grab her and off we go, i realise i dont have a condom so i just yell "SOMEONE GIVE ME A FUCKING CONDOM" a nice stranger gives me one and pats me and my girl on the back, straight into the toilets we go. we see the cleaner so go into a different cubicle, he says "comeon, i need to clean that can u use the other one". "sure, thanks man" i say back and anyway we're in the toilet and i start fingering her, she undoes my pants and starts giving me head.

BANG BANG BANG,  BANG BANG BANG "whoever is having sex in the toilet, stop now and come out, this is security"

wtf i think, and keep getting head. Then they fucking unlock the door while my dick is still out so i quickly put it back in my pants before the lady bouncer comes in and says we're being kicked out for fucking in the toilets.

Dex then messages me asking where i am, i say im being kicked out for fucking in the toilet so he meets me and my girl outside and we tell him the story. and then bid our farewells because we were going to find an ally to fuck in.

We go to the carpark across the road from GPO and its on again, she starts giving me head and i finger her more. I try to fuck her and i realise that me being 6'4" fucking sucks. i cant fuck her properly because im too tall. the angles are working against me, after a min or two of trying to find a good position my dick is getting soft so i pull the condom off and throw it away and tell her to give me more head.

this works and im back at attention only to realise that that was my only condom. FUCK, i tell her what i did and shes slightly mad but i tell her to jsut give me head and i will fuck her another time.

"I havent sucked a dick in a while, so i hope im not bad" - wtf, being this much of a slut i know shes done this before.

"How old are you?" - "oh i just turned 18 last week, this is the first time ive been to a club"

jesus fucking christ, first time at a club and she almost gets fucked in a toilet!

anyway, i tell her its a rule that i have to get a picture of her giving me head, and of her naked in the carpark. she doesnt mind this but i realise its the first night EVER that i didnt bring my camera. so i take a few pics with my shitty iphone camera. here is her naked - theres no face so it should be fine.

(due to not wanting to get my blog banned ill just share link: ) 

edit:Hmm so looking on her FB, her face isnt as good as her body. meh, shes a slut and thats all that matters. fuckable for sure.
Edit2: Here i changed it for an enhanced version

I then go down on her, well she was sitting on a hand rail but you know what i mean.

I then tell her im stealing her underwear for my sex bowl, "wtf is a sex bowl", "its a bowl of shit i steal from girls i fuck, you can either give me your underwear of your bra, your choice", "well its my fav bra, so keep the undies"

I guess its a lie of an item, because i couldnt fuck her due to being shit and positioning in public places.

We then finish up and go back to find our friends only to see Dex walking home, so we talk there and i tell him that she just gave me head in a carpark. and that we should have a threesome! I then pull her dress up to show Dex that i stole her undies and tell him to finger her. Dex plays with her vag ahahah. but none the less the threesome idea didnt work and i say bye the Dex. I get the girls number and she tells me we have to fuck soon, i tell her id like that.

She leaves, i get let back into Alhambra (weird right?) and the night ends.

Thats my story of getting so close, yet so far from winning the race with my friend in under 3 hours, All by being open with the girls telling them i would fuck them in the toilets, only took 3 attempts. but all in all, it was a good night. i got head in a carpark, i took naked pics of an 18yr old and a pic of her giving me head. and im sure as fuck i will fuck her soon - ive been messaging her today and its still on.

But, i will ALWAYS regret last night. my prefect girl and i quite possibly ruined it with her. I will still text her etc and see if i can fix it. i must have her, but i think if i do get her i will fall in love and it will ruin my days of being the man. I currently have 2 girlfriends, a girl that i will fuck (from last night), an 18 yr old i fucked last tuesday that likes me but i havent messaged since fucking her and 3 girls i constantly text / talk dirty too that im trying to fuck.

When getting into the pickup business i told myself i wanted 5 girlfriends and then i would stop. i never though it would be possible in only 4 months but i know its getting close and i know i can do it. but i would give them all away to just have that one girl. fuck.

This is how to text game a slut. The shadow way.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

This is me living up to my nickname. fuck.

So 2 nights ago i was with my best mate at regatta and we were just doing what we usually do. The girl from my FR about making orgasm ringtone was there but i wasnt interested in her that night. i wanted new meat. Anyway my friend got picked up by the hottie hes banging and i later on find out he video taped himself blowing on her tits. fuck i love him ahahaha. After he left i one man wolf packed it for a while and found some blonde girl and was hooking up with her but her friend kept giving me a cheeky grin so i thought my chances for a fuck with the friend were higher. so i switched and within 10 minutes was in a cab. i was dominating. on the way back to my place with the girl on the way home i get messages from the ringtone girl who was watching me the whole time saying that i suck and that if i was hooking up infront of her to rub it in its not very nice. i wasnt, i didnt know she was right there. meh.

I get her home and go straight to the bedroom and take her clothes off and start fingering her and thats when i find my problem. I cant get hard for the life of me. as my friend nicely put it, i was pummelling myself into oblivion for 15 minutes trying to get it hard. it wasnt going anywhere fast so i just went down on her and thats when problem number 2 came. we were on these pills and my mouth was dry as fuck. so itold her i was going to get a drink, then came back and took my position tongue between legs. 1 min later and my mouth is dry as fuck again and im still not hard. so i gave up, she went to the toilet and i stole her g-string for my sex bowl. Made her get the train home the next morning.

Then, Last night we were at Alhambra. I thought it was hilarious to steal every girls who walked past straws. none liked this but i did. Anyway then a hot 18yr old walked past holding hands with her friends but i grabbed her and started talking to her. Started hooking up with her and pulling her against my dick, picking her up and wrapping her legs around me etc. My friend was throwing ice at me and some random guy kept slapping me on the ass. i said to her "i want you so fucking bad" she said "me too" and i grab her hand, tell my friends im leaving and we head outside to the cabs. then she says "shit i cant leave, my mum is picking me and my friends up later, where else can we go?" I suggested the park which seemed like a good idea but then she said how about we just go to the toilets. So we go back inside she sees her friends and i see mine, i tell my mate im about to fuck her in the toilet and he said something along the lines of "what the fuck are you doing then, go" so i grabbed her and lead her to the toilets.

get into the male toilets and i get pats on the back from the guys in there, but theres a fucking line. in the male toilets, wtf, ive never seen a line before and we're like 3rd in line. we keep hooking up for like 5 mins and line hasnt moved. so we try the female toilets, bigger line. i say "damn you and your mum" she giggles and we give up and go back and hook up against the bar. i start putting my hand down her pants grabbing her ass etc. start rubbing her through her panties then go to try finger her and she had a hair fucking vag. it caught me by surprise, a hot 18yr old with a hairy vag. she then pulled my hand out of her pants before i fingered her and then the bouncer comes up and says "sorry guys no kissing on the bar". we made out for a bit more but then i tell her she should go dance with her friends but come say bye. i got her number etc and yeah kissed her more before she left. Il try see her again because i thought she was fucking hot, my friend said she was hot in the way that says her mother must have been drinking a lot during pregnancy. haha.

Oh wells, i now have 1 more photo for my collage. im trying to take a picture of me making out with every girl im with so that i can print them all out and hopefully have an entire wall covered with different girls in my bedroom. will be epic, thought of the idea yesterday. now i wish i had taken photos of all the girls so far and not just some.

But, 2 nights in a row, 2 different girls. am right there and somehow fail. Captain No Bangs at your service.

Monday, November 1, 2010

hmm, so this is a kinda shit FR but i like telling of my adventures with my friend. 

We get to Alhambra at about 11:30 and fucking god was the line long. when i saw it took an hour to get in, i mean we got in at 12:40. In the line we were getting restless and just started talking to everyone in line, there was a 9 and a 3 infront of us. the 9 was fucking adorable, i would probably take 10 years off my life to fuck her. 5 years, lets not go crazy now. Anyway my mate started talking to her so being the friend i am i decided to occupy the 3 for a little while. it sucked, really sucked. she looked like the came straight from the 80's but had been hit by about 5 trains on the way. she wore a fucking white and grey checked suit coat. the worst part was she was keen, i was just monotone the whole time hating myself for wasting time with her because i never wing. i hate it, and dont expect anyone to wing for me.

So after half hour of her boring shit and seeing my friend making out with the 9 i got more jealous and then started listening to these guys try pickup the girls behind me in line by saying how much they love gossip girl and the OC etc. this angered me. I turned around and said "man, you're not doing yourself any favours by trying to like gossip girl just to impress these ladies. it isnt going to work, and besides, no one can liek those shows. they're shit"

"this guy doesnt respect me" - he says
"of course i dont fuck, do you want to hug it out?"

at this point the girls are giggling and the 2 guys notice i have a star tattoo on my wrist and a nose piercing and think it will be a good time to start calling me gay.

"well im obviously not fucking gay, i have a video on my phone of a chick giving me a blowjob and me giving her a facial."

"haha sure you do" - challenge accepted.

i get my phone out and show the group of 2 guys and 2 girls my junk in all its glory blowing ropes all over the girls face. my friend sees me doing this while with his girl and starts giggling.

A bit of small talk about them not believing its me and then me pointing my tattoo out in the movie then we're finally inside and i ditch them all. An hour later and the 2 girls are sitting in a booth and point at me saying "look its the video guy"

its on, i start with the uglier brunette but notice that the blonde is fucking amazingly hot. i want her so bad. i just stop talking to the brunette and start with blonde, she took aaaages. she had bad body language, wasnt looking me in the eye but told me to come with her to the couches. ive been talking to her for seriously 30 minutes - i never take this long to kiss a girl and i tell her that. she giggles and keep looking away, im starting to think im wasting my time but i say some line about how she is fucking adorable and an exact replica of the girl form the notebook (she really is) which makes her shy and i kiss her.

Im kissing her on the couch for prolly an hour, but my friends girl left him because the ugly 3 wasnt being distracted. he was pissed, i would be too. anyway, the club ugly lights come on at 4 am. i keep kissing her for a bit before finally leaving her without trying to take her home because i was staying on my mates bedroom floor. i dont think i could have gotten her home anyway.

My life mission right now is to have her. shes the most gorgeous little girl ive seen in a long time. but there lies my problem, i will never want to get rid of her.

My friend is also winning with his girl. her saying "next time we meet, im all yours" or something along those lines. im truly jealous of him the fucker.

anyway, so ive come up with a theory that my showing girls my dick on video can only help. im 2 from 2 so far with showing girls the video and then hooking up with them. lets see if i can make it 3 from 3 tonight? shitty FR, but i havent been out since thursday. sue me.